As Machine made it to the fields Saturday, they were met with cloudy skies and moderate wind. Their first game was against Ascension, a new team hailing from Bradley, Illinois. Offensive handlers Bob Liu, Pawel Janas, Ron Kubalanza, and Brett Kolinek worked quickly and efficiently, throwing strikes deep and under to build an early lead. Taking half 8-1, Machine’s defense sought to capitalize on turns and made it a quick second half with a final score of 15-3. This gave Machine extra time to eat and rehydrate, while also learning more about their fellow teammates.
REGIONALS 2016 FACT #1: - Jonathan “Goose” Helton hates the Top Gun soundtrack. Who knew.
The second team Machine faced was Cinncinnati’s own Schweingeist. German for “Pig Ghost” Schweingeist looked to take quick strikes deep against Machine’s cutter defenders. Defensive line veterans Kevin Kelly, Michael Schwenk, Jack Shey, and Von Alanguilan did not allow this tactic to work. A combination of hucks and shorts passes on the turn allowed Machine to take half 8-3, and then finish the game 15-6, pushing them into semifinals and two wins away from a spot at Nationals.
REGIONALS 2016 FACT #2: - Percy Stogdon hopes to be a motivational speaker one day.
Beachfront Property, another men’s team based in Chicago, met Machine in semifinals ready to fight. Beachfront came out swinging, taking advantage of an early turn and punching it in to start the game 0-1. Offense quickly readjusted to work the disc up the field and found their first score of the game to make it 1s. Beachfront displayed great speed and athleticism, but Machine’s defense dictated how the rest of the game would be played. Creating turns with layouts helped Machine take half 8-1, and strong sideline energy helped a quick repeat in the second for the eventual 15-1 win, and a meeting with High Five Sunday in the Championship.
REGIONALS 2016 FACT #3: - Jack Shey CANNOT eat a whole potato in under 75 seconds.
Even off the field, Machine likes to do things as a team. One of the main attractions in Rockford is the Machine Shed, a country style restaurant that provides home cooked meals at a convenient price. Needless to say, Machine had to make a visit. Maybe it was a combination of the day’s results, or maybe it was the feeling of being in Rockford Paradise, but things started to get rowdy. Rockford Rowdy.
REGIONALS 2016 FACT #4: - Alex Evangelides can convince anyone to play Credit Card Roulette.
Before anyone knew it, Alex had 13 cards in a hat and High Five’s Sam Greenwood pulling one card out at a time. With 3 cards being insured by Andrew Sheehan, and at least 1 card that was certain to get declined, the pressure was on.
Is Credit Card Roulette a dangerous game to play? Absolutely. Should you avoid it if you’re financially unstable? Probably. Has anyone called Machine the smartest team in club? Definitely not.
One by one, cards are removed from the hat and fist pumps are thrown in the air. First it was Jeff Zhao, then Jack Shey, then Buchsbaum, and so on. Yet, it was Machine rookie heartthrob Trent Kuhl who found himself matched against salty veteran captain Cullen Geppert for the final drawing.
“Trent put his card in knowing he wouldn’t even have enough money to buy his own meal, let alone 12 of his teammates.” Von Alanguilan joked as he grasped Kuhl before the final standoff.
Greenwood took his time mixing the last two cards in the hat. Some say he took seconds, Trent would say he took hours. Finally, his hand went still, and Greenwood retrieved a single card from within.
Do you believe in fate? Or do you believe everything is a coincidence?
As the words “It’s Trent” left Sam Greenwood’s mouth, the very public restaurant erupted in cheers. Kuhl promptly left the restaurant, shouting “I’m going to live forever” as he disappeared into the darkness, leaving Geppert with a receipt to sign. That same confidence seemed to carry over into Sunday when Machine faced off High Five in the regional final.